Incredibly Strange: the documentary

I just realised, on reading the intro to the Asbestos Felt interview, that I should probably post the documentary that I was making at the time. Here it is, in Vimeo-y glory:

Incredibly Strange from Andrew Todd on Vimeo.

Asbestos Felt interview (Part 1)

A few months back, I interviewed cult movie legend Asbestos Felt, star of KILLING SPREE, for a documentary I was making. I didn't end up using the interview in the film due to time restrictions, but I've edited it down into a form I can publish here. So here we go with Part 1 of the interview!

Hi there.

Hi! This is Asbestos Felt, and I've been in a few movies. I've done some extra work in a couple movies that were fun - INVASION USA with Chuck Norris, and HAPPY NEW YEAR with Peter Falk. But the first movie I did with Tim Ritter was TRUTH OR DARE: A CRITICAL MADNESS, and I was cast as a psychopath originally, but reduced to an imbecile, and they took my lines away from me, and I basically I just sat there in a mental ward with a hand grenade in my mouth and waited til my head exploded. And then my next movie was KILLING SPREE, which I was the star of, and the other movie that I did was CREEP, which I actually played the same character as I played in KILLING SPREE. And so those are the movies that I've been in!

What was the atmosphere amongst the cast and crew making KILLING SPREE? Were you guys aware that what you were making wasn't high art?

Uh, well, (laughs) I don't know if that was really a consideration at the time, I mean it was more or less just a really fun thing to do. We had a group of people who had all come together that Tim Ritter had compiled, and some of us were friends, some of us knew each other, and others we didn't know at all, and we all just kind of jived together and just had kind of a really crazy, interesting time doing this whole thing. You know, it was very chaotic, with people running all around, and just a lot of strange things happening, so I don't know if there was a feeling of high art being made, but it was more or less just a fun project.

Yeah, there really is that sense of anarchic energy in there... Um, we sort of have to draw attention to the point that the, uh, critical consensus is not an overly positive one...

Oh, well, you know, it is what it is! It was shot on 16mm film - I know there's an issue over the quality. I have a feeling that when they did the film to video transfer, they didn't do a very good job. I don't know what else could be said about that - I don't know how many generations it went down on videotape before it actually got edited, I have no idea about the editing process - but you know, 16mm's a little bit grainier than 35, so you're starting off with a lesser film, but the audio was horrible. You know, we had an audio man who didn't really wanna be an audio man - he just really wanted to eat. So, basically, in some of the scenes, the boom microphone was held - well, the living room, the place that we shot, was two stories high. And they would stick the boom microphone up from the second floor. So the microphone was not even close to any of the action. It was this big echo chamber. So the audio was a whole 'nother issue. Unfortunately, I had no control over that. I had put in my two cents worth, but no one seemed to really care!

Yeah. I think with fans of the film, the key driving factor for them is your performance, because it's pretty insane. Which seems to contradict your natural laid-back sort of self. Do you have any problems with people not being able to divorce you from your character?

Well...first of all - I am usually pretty laid back, but I do get keyed up too, so you know, I can go one direction or the other. So doing that whole role was just to go over the top. It was just over the top on everything. I was reading one of the reviews a while ago, and it said "Asbestos Felt makes William Shatner look like an underactor." And I thought that was a great compliment. (laughs) Just cause, you know, to be compared with William Shatner was a whole nother thing, so just being mentioned in the same sentence was kinda funny to me. But we just went and tried to be as outrageous as possible. And really, probably the biggest, most outrageous part was when I ripped the old lady's jaw off with the claw hammer. When we were shooting that, the original take didn't work. And so I was holding the hammer into the latex and pulling her mouth off, but the latex wasn't snapping. It was kind of like this big rubber band, and the director was saying "oh that's cool" - I said, "what do you mean? That didn't even work!" So I tried to convince him to do another shot, I said "look, this is the money shot, it's like a porno, that wasn't it!" You know, you need the money shot! So we did it again, and then it worked. And while that was going on, everybody's chanting "go Asbestos, go Asbestos!" So I ended up chewing her nose off, which wasn't actually seen in the movie. But it was just kind of like some over the top frenzy was going on, so that was a lot of fun. Every day was different on that movie, I mean I was covered with different concoctions of blood that they decided to mix up, sometimes I didn't even know what it was half the time. I ripped the intestines out of the TV repairman...I had to wipe it on my face. I was like, "god, this really smells...so familiar," so I went and asked Joel, the special effects guy. He goes, "oh that was what we had for dessert!" Some sort of cinnamon apple cobbler mixed with the blood goo, I was like "God!" (laughs) So that was an interesting thing. But every day they had to hose me down. I mean, I was just covered in that stuff every day. So they'd have to hose me down and then they had to go dry my clothes off, because we only basically had one outfit to work with.

So it was a very conscious decision to make it over the top then.

Oh yeah, it was kind of treated as - and maybe this is just my aspect of it, but I looked at it as kind of a spoof of horror films. I don't know what Ritter thought, but...

Yeah, it sort of teeters in parts between being a spoof and trying to be serious...

Well, there were a lotta places where they didn't even have any lines written for me, and I would throw in these kind of stupid comments whenever, like you know that line where I'm holding the screwdriver over the guy's head, and I said "you screw my wife, I screwdrive your head!" And then I say "I'm gonna package you up, sucker, and send you out special delivery!" - that was stuff that just came out. There were a number of lines like that, that I would throw in there just to break it up a bit, and they were all a little comedic, uh, so...you know. (laughs)

So there was a degree of improvisation in there?

Oh, yeah there was. I didn't have total free rein, but I could just pretty much say whatever. And I did stick to his script, I just added to it.

When I talked to you earlier you mentioned that the cult following of the film has re-formed itself a few times over the past 20 years - could you talk about that?

Right. Well, after it first came out, you know, I really didn't know exactly where it was gonna go to. And it was released on VHS tape and - you know, we had a big premiere, which I had arranged with a local club, and nothing really happened with it. You know, you just hear like, "well, there's something going", you know, trying to find distributors, all that sorta stuff. It wasn't until a few years later that you'd see the reviews popping up - I read a few reviews that came out right away, and some were good, some were bad, but usually they just said that I acted like an insane nut or whatever. Other people always thought that Asbestos Felt sounded like a good porn name - which I agree - but it just started gaining this bit of a following. And of course the biggest following is in New Zealand, which just blows my mind. It all started out with a girl who had sent me an email, and it said "Are you the real Asbestos Felt or just a huge fan like I am?" And I wrote back, "well, I am the real Asbestos Felt," and she said, "well, prove it!" and so... There's one scene in the movie where they made me wear these tiny black bikini underwear...you remember that? Yeah. So do I. I try not to, but...uh, I protested on that one. I said "I'm not doing that," and they're like, "oh come on, it'll be great," and they finally convinced me and I said "oh, OK, whatever." So I just happened to have that pair of underwear still, so...I took pictures of it, and sent it back to the girls, and they were finally convinced that I was the real one. So that's how it all kind of started. But um, then we emailed back and forth a bunch of times, and I sent them some autographed pictures. That was years ago. And it just kinda grew, and in the last year maybe, it's just gotten this whole thing going, so it really is a mind-blower.

Yeah, there was an explosion last year, the Facebook thing, a lot of people trying to get you down here.

Yeah, I'd love to come to New Zealand, so if they could take up a collection for me that'd be great. (laughs)

I think people would be willing to, as well!

(laughs) You know, I don't know how much it costs - two grand or something, put in some money, I'll pay for part of it too. I've always wanted to go to New Zealand anyway.

Yeah. Um, just because you brought it up, the name Asbestos Felt - where does that originate from?

Where does that originate from? Ohhhh. Uhhhhhh...there is a story, but I'm not going to divulge my story at this point. Yeah, people are always asking if that's my real name or not.

Yeah, I would have guessed that.

Well, they ask if it's my real name, they say "how'd you get that?". I say "well, my parents did a lot of LSD back in the sixties. Or whatever - back in the day, or something or whatever, I don't know. But that's how I'm listed in the phone book. (laughs)

Stay tuned for more Felty goodness!

Article: the Fashion of MYSTICS IN BALI

The Indonesian flying-head exploitation classic MYSTICS IN BALI (aka LÉAK, pronounced "lee-ack") is quite simply too bizarre to review in a conventional sense. If I were to write at length about the strange creatures, rituals, and tongues that constitute the majority of the film, I would probably go at least as insane as I did watching it. So in lieu of a proper review, I present: a journey through MYSTICS from the perspective of the leading man Yos Santo's shirt wardrobe.

In the first shot, it's impossible to see what T-shirt the guy is wearing. It's a tight-fitting off-white number with some text and a diagram - a Venn diagram? - on the front, neatly tucked into his cream bell bottoms. Yet though we cannot see the exact lettering, it is a taste of what is to come.

The next scene has Mahendra (Yos's character) inexplicably wearing a blue "Property of Notre Dame" T-shirt. This possibly foreshadows the plot, whereby his girlfriend (or is she??) Cathy becomes the property of the Léak queen. Or it might just be what was at the top of his drawer that morning.

The next scene - our heroes discuss how silly the whole thing is, while watched by a mysteriously long-fingernailed woman - features Yos in a somewhat tight, but also low-cut, bright bluey-purpley collared shirt. This appears only in a couple shots, so may be considered rare.

Later, Yos dons this shirt, with apparently a picture of Charles Darwin on it - or a clothed Chewbacca, I can't tell. Either way, it's a demonstration of the taste the man has. Oh, and the plot is pretty much going nowhere at this point. Note also the nicely weedy moustache. Class!

Rain and plaid go together like...well, creepy old ladies and thunderstorms. Which is lucky, because this scene has both combinations. Our heroes follow the Léak Queen to a training ground...

...and she apparently has the power to change people's shirts. Do not confuse this with the plaid - this is merely striped. It's also the second in a run of disturbingly low-cut male-tops. Nice cardboardy collars though. I think the colours nicely reflect what they're looking at as well (it's a giant 12-foot-long forked tongue, incidentally, which electrocutes a tattoo onto our heroine's thigh).

The next day, we get into the "No, I really am attracted to you" section of Mr Santo's wardrobe. The rainbow motif and the "SHOCK PINK" text clearly indicate Mahendra's attitudes towards members of his own gender. Therefore, this whole scene can be read as a complex psychological self-denial on his part. It's also notable that we're at the 30-minute mark about here.

What follows is a lengthy sequence of exposition whereby a mystic expert in a tea-towel kilt explains the backstory to Mahendra, while he wears this shirt. "This little packet can bring back..." something. I can't tell what it says. Can you? With a shirt pattern like this, who cares? Just out of frame: Colgate-white pants. SCORE!

One of the least bizarre but most distressing shirts comes here, in a tense scene between Mahendra and Cathy. Pastel yellow with browny spots. It doesn't suit the guy. Maybe it's too big or something, but it kinda makes him look fat.

A dream sequence deserves an appropriately dreamy shirt, and this one delivers the goods. Tiny stripes can only mean one thing: sex is on its way. Note the seemingly separate collar - nope, it's part of the shirt. That's right...

Real life now - and the spots make a return. Nobody's sure why they do, when no other shirt has appeared in more than one consecutive scene (and some have only appeared in one shot), but they do. It has some kind of meaning somewhere, but it escapes me.

Speaking of one-shot wonders: this is from later in the SAME SCENE as the above picture. What does the shirt say? NewYone? I can't freaking tell. It's as though he was a little embarrassed about this shirt. Note also that he's stopped short of making out with Cathy. He's scared.

No need to feel embarrassment about THIS one. As Mahendra walks into battle against the flying head and organs of Cathy (seriously), he wears practical khaki pants and a standard white (though quite wide-collared and wide-open) work shirt. It's all business for Mahendra now.

The next day, after the battle, Mahendra has failed - but may yet get another chance. He dons his "sex dream" shirt, in an attempt to conjure up feelings of self-worth and courage. You can see his sculpted abdomen here quite well, in addition to his big hair and clear attraction to his may-as-well-be-master.

The final costume: we first see it here as Mahendra dreams and plots. He's gonna beat the Léak Queen and get Cathy back if it's the last thing he does. This is power-lying in the classic sense - arms behind pillow, legs akimbo, if you will. The shirt's redness reflects the passion of this man to regain his love, even if it's merely a mask for his true feelings towards his master.

One breakdancing pig, lightning fight, fireball attack, and destroyed audience later, we come to this - the final frame of the film, concluding the Red Shirt's gargantuan run. What happened? See the movie and find out just how little you actually find out. It's truly bizarre and can't be described by conventional means. If you can track a copy down, get it. You won't be sorry. If nothing else, you'll have costume ideas for any fancy dress party you could possibly go to. Ever. No exceptions.

Trash review: THE LOVE BUTCHER (1975)

I first saw THE LOVE BUTCHER at the V Movie Marathon in 2007, on a freaking gorgeous 35mm CinemaScope print. It played at around 4 or 5 AM, and instantly shot to the top few of my favourite grindhouse movies. It's only available on VHS (out of print) or DVD (bootlegs OF the VHS) in the evil Pan&Scan aspect ratio, but even with half the picture cut out, it's still a wonderfully bizarre slasher movie.

The movie opens at the scene of "another" bizarre murder of a woman involving gardening implements. Seems the town in which this is set has been experiencing a spate of such crimes lately, but the cops (led by the insatiably angry Edward Roehm) have no idea what's going on. So it's up to intrepid journalist Russell (Jeremiah Beecher) to solve the mystery behind the crime wave. And it's gonna be a challenge, because the killer could be "just like you - very ordinary".

Cut to the true star of the picture, Erik Stern, as the balding, crippled, myopic, possibly mentally-impaired gardener Caleb. For fans of hammy acting, this movie is a goldmine, because Mr. Stern really delivers as Caleb and - as we discover a little later - his alter ego Lester. Suave, sophisticated, and somewhat hirsute, Lester is "the great male Adonis of the universe" and exists solely to satisfy women - and then kill them, like so:

Most of the film deals primarily with three plotlines:

• Caleb being emasculated by women; Lester seducing them under a variety of accents and disguises; Lester killing them with a variety of gardening implements
• Russell, in his quest to solve the mystery, having troubles with his girlfriend
• The cops, illustrated below, truly failing to grasp the most basic of crime-solving techniques.

The three storylines eventually congeal in one of the most hand-on-forehead obvious reveals in cinema history, and naturally a lot of blood is shed in the process. But the story is really secondary to the awesomely over-the-top performance by Stern, the kitschy 70s decor on display everywhere, and the ludicrously misogynistic and just plain stupid script. Some examples of its snappy as hell dialogue:

• "I'm going to awaken you from this earthly nightmare...awaken you to the sweet repose of...death!"
• "Your feminine pulchritude is detestable, and you were trying to drain the energy from ME?!"
• "You're going to make love to me...satiate me...fill me with nymphoid satisfaction. Drain me...and then you'll lie at the foot of my altar and adore my godly beauty."

Truly, this film is a thing of beauty. Godly beauty, perhaps? I don't know. I dig it anyway.

Statement of Intent

Hi, and welcome to THE CREEPING TERROR, my new film-centric blog. The idea behind this is to post:

• Reviews of unseen, exploitation, incredibly strange films
• Reviews of new movies if tonally appropriate
• Interviews
• Articles
• Links to what's happening in the trash-film world.

It's all about trash. TRUE trash, not shit like they populate multiplexes with today. Trash that can be enjoyed as trash and relished for its strangeness. Enjoy!