The Indonesian flying-head exploitation classic MYSTICS IN BALI (aka LÉAK, pronounced "lee-ack") is quite simply too bizarre to review in a conventional sense. If I were to write at length about the strange creatures, rituals, and tongues that constitute the majority of the film, I would probably go at least as insane as I did watching it. So in lieu of a proper review, I present: a journey through MYSTICS from the perspective of the leading man Yos Santo's shirt wardrobe.
In the first shot, it's impossible to see what T-shirt the guy is wearing. It's a tight-fitting off-white number with some text and a diagram - a Venn diagram? - on the front, neatly tucked into his cream bell bottoms. Yet though we cannot see the exact lettering, it is a taste of what is to come.
The next scene has Mahendra (Yos's character) inexplicably wearing a blue "Property of Notre Dame" T-shirt. This possibly foreshadows the plot, whereby his girlfriend (or is she??) Cathy becomes the property of the Léak queen. Or it might just be what was at the top of his drawer that morning.
The next scene - our heroes discuss how silly the whole thing is, while watched by a mysteriously long-fingernailed woman - features Yos in a somewhat tight, but also low-cut, bright bluey-purpley collared shirt. This appears only in a couple shots, so may be considered rare.
Later, Yos dons this shirt, with apparently a picture of Charles Darwin on it - or a clothed Chewbacca, I can't tell. Either way, it's a demonstration of the taste the man has. Oh, and the plot is pretty much going nowhere at this point. Note also the nicely weedy moustache. Class!
Rain and plaid go together like...well, creepy old ladies and thunderstorms. Which is lucky, because this scene has both combinations. Our heroes follow the Léak Queen to a training ground...
...and she apparently has the power to change people's shirts. Do not confuse this with the plaid - this is merely striped. It's also the second in a run of disturbingly low-cut male-tops. Nice cardboardy collars though. I think the colours nicely reflect what they're looking at as well (it's a giant 12-foot-long forked tongue, incidentally, which electrocutes a tattoo onto our heroine's thigh).
The next day, we get into the "No, I really am attracted to you" section of Mr Santo's wardrobe. The rainbow motif and the "SHOCK PINK" text clearly indicate Mahendra's attitudes towards members of his own gender. Therefore, this whole scene can be read as a complex psychological self-denial on his part. It's also notable that we're at the 30-minute mark about here.
What follows is a lengthy sequence of exposition whereby a mystic expert in a tea-towel kilt explains the backstory to Mahendra, while he wears this shirt. "This little packet can bring back..." something. I can't tell what it says. Can you? With a shirt pattern like this, who cares? Just out of frame: Colgate-white pants. SCORE!
One of the least bizarre but most distressing shirts comes here, in a tense scene between Mahendra and Cathy. Pastel yellow with browny spots. It doesn't suit the guy. Maybe it's too big or something, but it kinda makes him look fat.
A dream sequence deserves an appropriately dreamy shirt, and this one delivers the goods. Tiny stripes can only mean one thing: sex is on its way. Note the seemingly separate collar - nope, it's part of the shirt. That's right...
Real life now - and the spots make a return. Nobody's sure why they do, when no other shirt has appeared in more than one consecutive scene (and some have only appeared in one shot), but they do. It has some kind of meaning somewhere, but it escapes me.
Speaking of one-shot wonders: this is from later in the SAME SCENE as the above picture. What does the shirt say? NewYone? I can't freaking tell. It's as though he was a little embarrassed about this shirt. Note also that he's stopped short of making out with Cathy. He's scared.
No need to feel embarrassment about THIS one. As Mahendra walks into battle against the flying head and organs of Cathy (seriously), he wears practical khaki pants and a standard white (though quite wide-collared and wide-open) work shirt. It's all business for Mahendra now.
The next day, after the battle, Mahendra has failed - but may yet get another chance. He dons his "sex dream" shirt, in an attempt to conjure up feelings of self-worth and courage. You can see his sculpted abdomen here quite well, in addition to his big hair and clear attraction to his may-as-well-be-master.
The final costume: we first see it here as Mahendra dreams and plots. He's gonna beat the Léak Queen and get Cathy back if it's the last thing he does. This is power-lying in the classic sense - arms behind pillow, legs akimbo, if you will. The shirt's redness reflects the passion of this man to regain his love, even if it's merely a mask for his true feelings towards his master.
One breakdancing pig, lightning fight, fireball attack, and destroyed audience later, we come to this - the final frame of the film, concluding the Red Shirt's gargantuan run. What happened? See the movie and find out just how little you actually find out. It's truly bizarre and can't be described by conventional means. If you can track a copy down, get it. You won't be sorry. If nothing else, you'll have costume ideas for any fancy dress party you could possibly go to. Ever. No exceptions.
